An epiphany

I've recently had an epiphany about parenting.  In today's society, everything and everyone is politically correct and if you're not, its offensive.  The parenting style that seems to be the most popular, at least in my circle of the world is attachment parenting and general tolerance for letting the child make their own choices.  I haven't actually done much research on the definition of attachment parenting, but it is basically gentle parenting that aims not to punish the child in any way but to allow them to explore and grow without too much interruption.  (That's a bad summary, but whatever).  Generally, I'd like to be this kind of parent.  Children are precious beings that should be cherished.  I agree that its important to treat children as individuals and show them respect, not just treat them as objects of our will.

We recently had friends over this weekend and somehow we started talking about their son buying a pink ball.  It led to a discussion of letting children choose who they want to be.  I am easily influenced by internet forums and online articles.  After having been exposed to some ideas that we should let children choose how they want to dress and how long their hair is, etc, I am on the fence about how I feel about this.  But one of our friends had a different take on the situation.  He said that it is our job as parents to raise our child with our set of values because if we don't, they will absorb whatever other values they are exposed to.  He also made a very valid point that boys and girls are different, as is obvious by taking a look down below.

It made me realize that I have the right and responsibility to raise my child the way I see fit.  It does not make me sexist if I don't want my son to dress as a princess.  I have the right to tell my son that he can't wear a pink tutu to school.  I am not damaging him in doing this, I am teaching him that he is a boy and not a girl.  Regardless of what popular society tells us, boys and girls are actually different.  I won't go into a discussion of the differences between men and women, but they are vast.  I believe that our sons should be raised to be strong men, who take care of their families and know how to change the oil in a car.

Anyway, it was just a profound realization that I need to decide what is right for our family and how we want to raise our children, not what the internet community says is the right way.  Its okay to disagree with someone else's views on parenting and make choices that are different.

Life goes on

Today my parents' anniversary popped up on my calendar.  It has been a year and a half since my stepdad passed away.  It is so true that you never know how much you love someone until you lose them...and then it is too late.

There is a partner at my firm that lost his wife last month.  After two weeks, he returned to work.  I occasionally pass him in the halls and every time I see him, I think of his loss.  To me, it is almost unbelievable that he is back at work and having to act as though life is normal.  After seeing my mom lose her spouse, I understand how devastating this loss is.  Losing a family member is tough, but losing a spouse?  It's like losing half your world.  The person you talk to about your day, the person you eat dinner with, the person you brush your teeth next to.

I know that life must go on and it is not healthy to just sit at home and mourn.  But it seems so painful that life goes on, no matter what.  The day after the funeral, you just get up and put one foot in front of the other.  With time, the pain eases.  But the memory of that person never fades.  Every once in a while I will see something or hear something and think Kem would have liked that or I should get that for Kem.  And then there is the split-second realization that he is gone.  

Obsession

I have this obsession...it's called Cloth Diapers.  I think before I even became pregnant, I had decided to try cloth diapers.  Mainly because they are cheap.  Well, they are cheap if you can resist buying more, which is highly unlikely.  Our first purchase was GMD prefolds and Thirsties Duo Wraps.  Prefolds and covers are, by far, the most economical way to diaper a baby.  We love our prefolds.  They are durable and handle washing and bleaching well.  They also make great burp cloths and rags for wiping up spit-up and drool.  But they are white...which is slightly boring.  Thirsties covers are the best I've tried and our favorite, but they only come in so many colors.  So, I ordered a few BG 4.0 pocket diapers.  These also come in mostly solid colors, but they make a baby's bum so soft and fluffy!  I have tried a few different pocket diapers, but BG is still my favorite.  Recently, they had a B5G1 sale, so I ordered 12 new diapers to complete the colors in my stash.  You would think after that many that I would be satisfied.  Nope!  Before my packages even arrived, I was combing through the cloth diaper websites trying to decide which brand/style I want to try next.  I'm on purchasing probation right now though, so I will have to wait a few months before I can get any more.  Also, DH will KILL me if I keep buying diapers!

My next plan is to improve our storage options.  The dresser we currently have in LT's room has somewhat shallow drawers, so the diapers do not stack neatly how I want them to.  I don't really have any ideas, because his room is somewhat small, but I'm working on it.

Dewberry Season

Dewberry season is almost over.  In a week or two all the berries will be gone or dried up.  I love dewberry season.  It brings back fond memories of picking berries with my best friend and at my Grandma's house.  It is also one of my favorite things about living in the country.  There is something rare and special about a bowl full of fresh-picked, wild dewberries.  They grow wild all over our property every year so I won't let my husband mow all spring so they will grow.  This year I'm considering making blackberry jam or jelly out of the ones he's picked.  How yummy would that be?!